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Christmas survival
5 min read

How to ruin Christmas

Actor turned vicar Natalie Garrett, recounts the perils of being a Christmas Pro.

Natalie produces and narrates The Seen & Unseen Aloud podcast. She's an Anglican minister and a trained actor.

A nativity seen with wooden figures and hay, amidst which a cat sits in the manger.
Nativity cat, Warsaw, 2012.
Kacper Pempel.

So, during the years of my acting career, I always avoided Panto (oh yes I did). Not because I don’t like Panto, I love a good Panto. But because I didn’t want to work over Christmas. How God will have chortled at that great irony, knowing as he did that as of 2005 (the year I got ordained), I would be working every Christmas for the rest of time. 

Christmas is different now. Not only am I ordained, I’m married to a vicar. I’m completely immersed in professional Christmas. And Christmas is a bit different when you’ve turned pro. I won’t go so far as to say that being ordained has ruined Christmas, but it’s certainly changed it. But so has (supposedly) being a grown up.  

My “Proper Christmas” will always be the Christmas that I grew up with (is that just me?). I had traditional preparing-for-Christmas jobs that I did every year on Christmas Eve eve: polishing the special cutlery we only used once a year, making the brandy butter (which is a bit odd now I think about it, being that heavily involved with brandy from the age of six) and decorating The Tree. And having the annual argument with my sister about whose turn it was to take the present to our neighbours across the road. And eating a lot of satsumas. And chocolate. And seeing my cousins and playing Trivial Pursuit. All of which looks very rosy seen through the eyes of a child. Christmas is different when you’re ordained and you have to work, but it’s also very different when you’re the grown up. 

I used to think my mother made a ridiculous amount of fuss about Christmas. I am now that same mother. I think it’s Michael McIntyre who does a whole routine about women starting to write their Christmas To Do lists in October and endlessly shrieking, “there’s so much to do!” That’s me folks. Christmas as a grown up – or at least for this grown up – feels like there’s so much to do! 

I always imagine (unhelpfully fantasize) that Other People’s families are living the Christmas dream – the relaxed, cosy evenings drinking hot chocolate or eggnog in front of a roaring fire; laughing and playing wholesome games happily and peacefully with their angelic children, wearing matching Christmas jumpers. In the cold light of day, I realise that, actually, most people find Christmas stressful for a million different reasons. It’s not all twinkly and bright. 

For many people, Christmas means seeing all the family that they avoid during the rest of the year. It means spending money they can ill-afford on presents that may not be wanted. Christmas means missing the people who aren’t with us anymore. It means endless advertising campaigns suggesting that you aren’t living the perfect life – but that if you buy a new sofa, you’ll salvage the ruins of your life just in time for a perfect, twinkly Christmas. 

And so the life of the mythical twinkly, “magical” Christmas lives on. With little or no reference to its origin story. 

I was the chaplain at a Church of England secondary comprehensive school for seven years. In my first term, putting together the carol service, I asked a class chapel rep if she would do one of the Bible readings. “Oh, is Christmas in the Bible?” Huh. Another conversation I had went along the lines of, “Miss, I don’t believe in Jesus and all that religious stuff. But I believe in the spirit of Christmas.” Huh. 

There’s a song in the staged musical version of the film Nativity, which is to all intents and purposes a Christmas prayer. But instead of the prayer being directed at God, it is directed at Father Christmas; 

Dear Father Christmas, make our wish come true 

Dear Father Christmas send your spirit through 

There are Children in the world who need you way more than we do 

But Father Christmas, we still believe in you 

Dear Father Christmas make our wish come true 

Which brings me to a difficult moment in my Christmassy life. I have a parenting policy that demands that I tell my children the truth. Whatever the question, if I know the answer, I will give it to them honestly. So, when my children were around the ages of four and six, in the middle of Sainsbury’s, with both children piled into the trolley, in mid-November, surrounded by early Christmas-abilia, one of my children asked me, “Mummy, does Father Christmas really exist?”. (SPOILER ALERT!!). I had to give an honest answer. If the question had been less straight, if there had been any wriggle room at all, I would have fudged it. But a straight question deserved a straight answer. Which, wide-eyed, they went and shared with their friends. A crowd of angry parents from their Primary school came to church to complain that the Vicar’s children had ruined Christmas. 

But my point was that if I were to tell my children that I believe Father Christmas exists and that he grants Christmas wishes, were they ever to find out that I had lied (ahem), how would they trust me when I say that I believe Jesus does exist and that he does answer prayers? The challenge has lived with me ever since: how to keep Christmas rooted in Christ without ruining the Christmas magic. 

Well, my saving grace is that I’m still a sucker for a bit of Christmas schmaltz. The theologically sensitive part of me absolutely abhors Away in a Manger (“no crying he makes”? Really? He was a new-born baby, of course he cried!!) and Little Donkey (in the Bible accounts there is absolutely no mention of donkeys at all. Not a single one – not on the road, not in the stable. No cows, no donkeys.) But light some candles, get the children singing and I have tears pouring down my face with the best of them, loving every moment.  

But that still doesn’t mean that the essence of Christmas is the twinkly magic. Because, of course, the first Christmas was neither twinkly nor magic. Nor did it involve a perfectly curated tablescape (which I also love at Christmas). It didn’t involve any the stereotypical Christmassy things that we all get stressed about and love in equal measure. The first Christmas was messy and difficult. But it was also the most real, most genuinely joyous event in human history. Apart from Easter. Don’t get me started on chocolate bunnies….

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Awe and wonder
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6 min read

The heart of the matter

Heart doctor Michael Henein steps back to consider the unseen and unique wonders of the human body’s design.

Professor Michael Henein is a consultant cardiologist, and a Professor of Cardiology at Umea University, Sweden.

A model of a human heart on a short stand.
Photo by Jesse Orrico on Unsplash.

Shakespeare famously asked:

“What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet, to me, what is this quintessence of dust?

Humans may be complex, capable of great heroism and deep depravity, yet it is worth stopping for a moment to look at the human body and mind to marvel in what we have become, and how we are made.

The visible design of the human body points out common features shared along with other members of the animal kingdom. Examples of these features are: two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, one mouth and four limbs, attached to a body and head. Detailed study of different seen parts of the body may, however, show some differences. For example, the presence of fingers and nails, hair distribution as well as a developed tail. While most members of the animal kingdom have teeth and a tongue, those two could also vary in their number and size, respectively, according to different species. Genetic investigations have shown that we humans share 99 % of our genes with animals, suggesting that our “earthly” component shares a common origin. Indeed, the twenty first century scientific findings match what is written in the Genesis story of creation, a story written over 3,500 years ago, well before genetic sciences came to light.

Creatures great and small

As for morphological differences between animal species, it is difficult to naively conclude why some are wild while others are man-friendly-even if the wild ones have different shapes, design, dietary habits, body size and life span.  Other important observed features of the members of the animal kingdom are that they are all born, they all age, then ultimately die.

If we are to look at the unseen features of the members of the animal kingdom, we can again identify similarities. For example, all have a gastrointestinal tract, a cardiovascular system, a reproductive system, a respiratory system, a urinary system and much more. While these systems may differ slightly between species, the overall structure and function achieve similar purposes.  For example, heart speed is faster in small animals like rats compared to big ones like elephants who have very slow hearts. Likewise, the respiratory system and the number of respiratory cycles per minute are significantly faster in running animals compared to the sedentary and slowly moving ones. Finally, the number of offspring also differs in different species, being just one at a time in big animals like elephants and horses, and many offspring in small animals like rabbits and mice. Such paradox between the number of offspring and animal size makes you think of the important determining role of the activity of those animals.

Unseen wonders

Now to turn to the rest of the animal kingdom and the unseen features of the human body. To start, let us look at the amazing functions of the human brain and its various functions. When humanity is sometimes described as the crown of creation, such a description is based on the superiority of human brain function and skills. Its sophisticated structure and how vital centres are created deep in the skull, to be protected from traumas, make you marvel. Also, the brain controls the different functions of the whole body, with its sensory and motor activities, various vital system functions including the lungs and the heart, all endocrine glands’ function, in addition to various receptors and centres that allow utmost precision and accuracy in everything we do. An example of this kind of precision is a doctor feeling a vein or an artery with the tip of a finger to insert a needle or a musician moving a finger a few millimetres while playing a violin, to produce the exact sound needed. Furthermore, the integrated function of human muscles, nerves and spinal cord is also amazing, let alone the synapsis between the nerve endings and muscle bundles, the chemicals secreted in them which allow electric stimulus transmission from the nervous system to achieve the motor function and desired movement.

The human brain also has the unique feature of storing knowledge. Of course, we should not ignore the importance of the training and programming ability of human brain. We learn how to drive a car, how to play games, how to study, how to operate safely on a sick patient.  Such acquired skills are quite limited in other members of the animal kingdom. Moreover, the human brain has the unique ability to invent, discover, improve and correct errors it identifies.

Another very unique feature of human brain is its ability to conduct speech, a feature of humans that is under-developed in other members of the animal kingdom. While most animals can make noise and sounds, only humans can articulate words, sentences and even sing very complex songs. This unique ability seems to be the underlying mechanism behind the development of languages which are based on the human ability to talk and transmit information and knowledge by words and phrases.

The unseen brain has allowed human life to develop over time, building skills and achievements from generation to generation. Millennia ago, humans lived in huts together with animals, and now they build houses and palaces to live in. Centuries ago, we used donkeys, horses and camels to travel but now we use cars, trains, ships and airplanes. Our ancestors burned wood and coal to cook and to warm but now we use electricity to do these.

When we look carefully at the unseen parts of the human body, we also realize that we cannot alter any of it, despite the scientific advances made over the years. We can understand what harms our body and take measures to avoid it. Out of the ability of our brain to discover and invent, we have now produced science-based means for curing various diseases. Consider how we can replace a dysfunctional heart valve or a mobility-limiting joint. These inventions have resulted in a better quality of life, alleviating of symptoms, even helping to avoid early death, in some cases such as heart disease and cancer. 

The heart of the matter

Another unseen source of life in humans is the heart. This fist-size organ is so complex in its structure and function. Recent scientific advances have enabled us to study heart function in milliseconds, hence the development of pacemaker treatments. They have also allowed clear imaging of the inside of the heart and the identification of pathologies, developments that guide practitioners to the optimum treatment of heart conditions. Recent discoveries have also allowed us to better understand how people develop coronary artery disease and how the pathology starts at the innermost layer of the arteries, particularly in individuals carrying significant risks for atherosclerosis including, smoking, high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol and obesity. Amazingly, obesity has been shown to be the strongest underlying cause of other risk factors, hypertension, diabetes and hypercholesterolemia. So, nature cannot be blamed in many of these patients but our own patterns of behaviour. Science has shown that walking at least 5,000 steps each day, complying with the design of our body, reduces the likelihood of developing coronary artery disease by 15 per cent.

The unseen physiology of the rest of our body systems and the interaction between systems make us wonder how we are made.  A rise of our body temperature by one degree due to a bug infection affects all body systems from the brain to the heart. A virus which cannot be seen by the most powerful microscope can destroy our lungs and cause premature death, as was the case with COVID-19 and others.

Finally, human inventions in the form of powerful microscopes have allowed scientists to study the human cell, which is the smallest living component of our body.  Such small cells cannot be replicated in any factory in the twenty-first century, despite the vast scientific developments that surround us. You'll be surprised to learn how complicated and meticulously fine-tuned a human cell is and also how it functions, connects with other cells and other parts of the body. An example of this is the interaction between body minerals, calcium, sodium and potassium with heart and muscle individual cells. Such a function is critically controlled by many factors such as time, electric stimulation and pressure differences producing remarkably harmonious contractions and relaxation of the muscles without missing a beat.