Article
Creed
Psychology
4 min read

Worry: bug or feature of our lives?

The ancient root of common or garden worrying.

Andy is a vicar-in-training in Durham.

A woman rubs her face in worry, while siting at a screen.
Vasilis Caravitis on Unsplash.

Climate change, smartphones, a loss of social cohesion: these are just some of the potential culprits for an oft-discussed, much worried about, anxiety epidemic. But what if our worries can’t be fully explained by any particular feature of the modern age? What if worry is in fact an ancient problem that afflicted the first  century no less than the twenty-first? What would that mean for how we should respond?

I’m not a psychologist, or a social scientist, but I am a common or garden worrier. And worry worms its way into my life through the gap between responsibility and control. 

I first encountered this at work. As someone who organised events, I felt responsible (and would be held responsible) for how many people signed up. But I soon came to the painful realisation that I didn’t control how many people signed up. I had responsibility but not control - and worry wormed its way in through that gap. And that didn’t seem fair to me - it seemed like a “bug” that should be fixed. Maybe my bosses just needed to relax a bit. That way my responsibility would shrink to match my control. Or maybe I needed better comms, better marketing - some way of making sure people came.  That way my control would expand to match my responsibility. Either way, the gap between responsibility and control should be eliminated somehow.

And then I had kids - three of them. As a dad I am responsible for my children. But I am not in control of them - sometimes I can barely get them to eat their tea. And so worry worms its way in - through that gap between responsibility and control. But I began to realise that when it comes to my kids, I just can’t close the gap and I shouldn’t even try. To abdicate responsibility or to seek control are just two different flavours of failure. The gap between them isn’t a bug in the code of life, it’s a feature. It’s part of being human, and so human flourishing means learning to live well with, even in, that gap. But how?

In the earliest record we have of Christians trying to explain themselves, a book of the Bible called (confusingly) Acts, we follow Paul, convert to Christianity, to Athens, the cultural capital of the ancient world. And there he meets people different from us in almost every way… except that like us they are worriers. And they are worried because they feel responsible for something they can’t control. Paul finds an altar with this inscription “to an unknown god”. What makes people erect an altar to an unknown god? The worry that worms its way in between responsibility and control. We’re not sure if we know about all the gods - we’re not in control. But that god we don’t know about might hold us responsible. So let’s try to close the gap by erecting an altar to a god we don’t even know.

Paul offers a better solution - to them and to us. He’s invited to give a speech to the leaders figures of Athens, but he doesn’t present his audience with a more sophisticated technique for closing the gap between responsibility and control. Rather, he introduces them to his God, to the truth that allows us to flourish in that gap. This God, Paul says, marks out the appointed times and places of all people: that is, he is in control of all things. This God, Paul says, wants everyone to seek him and find him: that is, he wants the best for all people. This God, Paul says, doesn’t need anything from us: that is, our responsibility is his invitation to be part of what he’s doing in the world. Know this God, trust this God, Paul says, and you can see the gap between responsibility and control as a feature of life and not a bug. You can flourish in and not worry about the gap.

But how does that work in the midst of tea-time tantrums and the day-to-day worries of life? Well for me, on a good day, it works a bit like this. When I’m confronted with the reality of quite how much is beyond my control, I’m not faced with chaos. I’m just faced with the fact that I’m not God, but God is - and nothing is beyond his control. And the God who is in control when I’m not loves my kids more than I do, better than I do. And he doesn’t need me. He’s not delegated responsibility for my kids to me because he’s too busy to look after them himself. I’ve been given the responsibility of being their dad so I get to share in the joy of watching them grow into all they were made to be. The gap is still there - I’m really responsible and I’m really not in control. But maybe I’m ok with that.

There may well be certain features of the modern age that heighten our anxiety. But the people of first century Athens didn’t have smartphones or face climate change and they still worried. Because they felt responsible for something they didn’t control, just like we do. It’s an ancient problem, a feature not just of our culture, but of being human. And what if an ancient problem needs an ancient solution?

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Article
Belief
Books
Creed
Faith
2 min read

Graham Tomlin's summer reading list

Seen & Unseen Editor-In-Chief shares his recommendations for a much-needed moment of pause

Nick is the senior editor of Seen & Unseen.

Niall Williams', John as picked by Graham Tomlin
Take a much-needed moment of pause this summer

I'm so glad that my Summer Reading List caught your eye. Whether you've got time now to dig into a new recommendation or want to bookmark this for an upcoming holiday, I hope at least one of these picks offers you some respite.

📖 Paul Bradbury, Why We Should Mourn The Death of the Semicolon 

Ordained pioneer minister, Paul Bradbury

I studied English at university, so I have always been interested in the way language works. I love how Paul Bradbury takes this tiny thing - a semicolon, and the evidence of its demise in English, and uses it as a sign of our need for pause, space, and reflection in our daily lives.

📖 Graham Tomlin, Blaise Pascal - The Man Who Made the Modern World

Bishop Graham Tomlin

I have been fascinated by Blaise Pascal ever since I read him as a teenager. I always wanted one day to write a biography of him, explaining his extraordinary life and piercing insights into human life and Christian faith. Maybe this might be a good book to take away on holiday; read on the beach, in the campsite or wherever you are!

📖Niall Williams, John

Author and playwright, Niall Willaims

From the author of History of the Rain and This Is Happiness, John is a wonderful novel depicting the elderly apostle as a man steeped in the simple yet extraordinarily revolutionary message that God is Love and that therefore we should not just tolerate, but love one another.

📖Hartmut Rosa, Uncontrollability of the World 

Sociologist and political scientist, Hartmut Rosa

The sequel to Rosa’s path-breaking work on social acceleration and resonance, this short book is a penetrating exposé of our cultural project to control everything and how it kills beauty and even ourselves in the end.

📖 Alan Kreider, The Patient Ferment of the Early Church

American Mennonite historian, Alan Kreider

If you're interested in history and what gave birth to the extraordinary Christian movement that transformed the world, then this is a great guide to those early years.

📖Paul Kingsnorth, Against Christian Civilisation

Former deputy editor of The Ecologist and author, Paul Kingsnorth

I read this lecture earlier in the year. It's a fascinating argument about the future of cultural Christianity. You might or might not agree with it, but it will make you think. 

📖Iain McGilchrist, Re-Enchanting Season 4, Ep 10

British psychiatrist, philosopher and neuroscientist Ian McGilchrist

Iain McGilchrist is such an interesting thinker whose work spans such a large area – neuroscientist, philosopher, historian, and much more, all expressed with a humility and sense of wonder. I loved his conversation with Belle and Justin. This would be a great one to listen to on the journey to your summer holiday this year.

📖Benjamin & Jenna Silber Storey, Why We Are Restless: On the Modern Quest for Contentment

University of Texas Research Fellows, Benjamin & Jenna Silber Storey

A brilliant, insightful and beautifully written account of modern discontentment through the lens of four crucial French thinkers - Montaigne, Pascal, Rousseau and de Tocqueville.