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Christmas survival
9 min read

Navigating your reality of Christmas

Recounting how Christmas changed for her, Lianne Howard-Dace re-evaluates the story and experiences of the season.

Lianne Howard-Dace is a writer and trainer, with a background in church and community fundraising.

A shopping street is crowded by taxi cabs and buses while above it a Christmas illumination of an angel hangs over all.
Jamie Davies, via Unsplash.

When I became a Christian thirteen years ago, I had to figure out how I might blend the sacred and the secular and rediscover what Christmas meant to me. 

Each December, millions of people celebrate this occasion, without faith or religion necessarily playing a role. Nearly 90 per cent of people in the UK celebrate Christmas each year, despite only around 46 per cent of people identifying as Christians and only 5 per cent regularly attending church.  These people create memories for their children because they cherish the ones their parents created for them. They decorate their house because it feels good to break up the darkness of winter with a riot of light and colour. They gather with their loved ones because it’s great to have an excuse to catch up. They eat and drink together because there are few pleasures greater than enjoying Yorkshire puddings and roast potatoes with your nearest and dearest. These experiences may even be quite spiritual, though they won’t always be recognised as such. 

Of course, the secular Christmas has taken on a mythology of its own. The image I have painted above is true, but it is not the whole picture. Whatever our beliefs, we need to be careful not to make an idol of the “perfect Christmas”. Not every family can afford to eat lavishly. Not everyone has people to celebrate with. For some, late December may mark a different anniversary altogether, and be a hard time of year. Even as someone who would readily say they love Christmas, I have had my fair share of family and romantic dramas that have made some years hard.  

If all you’ve ever known each Christmas is a turkey roast and visits from Santa, how can you look beyond the gift-giving and feasting which you have previously focused on, to discover the Jesus narrative within Christmas? You do not have to discard all those other things if they bring you joy, but you will start to notice that there is more going on in the marking of this holiday than you had previously considered.  

Underneath the tinsel and baubles you will find Mary and Joseph in a cattle shed, with the infant Jesus lying in a manger. Perhaps there will be animals, and visitors bearing gifts as well. And you will think that you know the story. You’ll remember your role as a shepherd in a school play and playing silent night on the recorder. You’ll remember that Christmas is all about the birth of Jesus. And Jesus is the son of God, or something like that? 

An all-powerful God could have revealed themselves to the world in an infinite number of ways. They could have come as a giant, towering over everyone. They could have arrived in a fiery chariot pulled by snow-leopards. They could have come riding a robot, ready to overthrow the Romans. 

If the school nativity play is your primary reference point for what Christianity has to offer your life, what does it really tell you about Jesus, and why he matters? Familiarity breeds contempt. So, many people see the nativity scene year after year and dismiss it out of hand. The son of God being born as a baby 2,000 years ago is just a fairy tale. It blends in amongst the snowmen and reindeer, as just another motif of the festive season. 

The nativity has become deeply sanitised and is so far removed from our modern way of life in the Global North, that for most it can be hard to see what it is trying to tell us. And if you never enter a church or meet any Christians, who is going to show you? Even as someone who was inquisitive and interested in spiritual things, for a long time, I compartmentalised the ‘churchy’ bit of Christmas as something for other people.  

In looking again at Christmas I have found that yes, it tells us a lot about Jesus. But also, it tells us so much about God the Creator. An all-powerful God could have revealed themselves to the world in an infinite number of ways. They could have come as a giant, towering over everyone. They could have arrived in a fiery chariot pulled by snow-leopards. They could have come riding a robot, ready to overthrow the Romans.  

But instead, at a time when 30 per cent of infants didn’t live to see their first birthday, God comes to earth as a baby. A tiny human with a soft bit on the top of his head and blurry vision, who can’t stay awake for more than an hour or so, and needs his nappy changed every half hour. That speaks to me not of a God who is far, far away in some magical realm, or a God who wants to control and oppress us, but of a God who deeply understands and respects the human experience. Who is right in the amniotic fluid, and the blood, and the crap of life, with us. 

Believing that Jesus is not just the Son of God but also, somehow, Godself at the same time, can take some serious mental gymnastics when you approach it as a cerebral exercise. But when you allow yourself to see and feel the stories afresh, and ask yourself what each of them is revealing about God, God’s relationship to us and God’s relationship to our world, it can start to make an odd kind of sense.   

I remember how full my heart was when I learnt that the name you’ve maybe heard Jesus called in carols – Immanuel – actually means ‘God with us’. For me, discovering this gem hidden, tucked away beneath what I thought I knew about Christmas, was extraordinary. Because, God had been with me all along. 

God was with me that first disorientating Christmas after my parents’ divorce. God was with me when I was 19 and randomly went to Midnight Mass after four gin and tonics. God was with me when the dog ate our gingerbread house, roof and all. And God was with me when I laughed at my nephew trying his first Brussels sprout. 

But the incarnation – the humanity of Jesus – being so pivotal to my faith, I actually find great comfort in envisaging Jesus’ birth as messy and complicated, as the rest of us. 

When I think about what it means for God to become a flesh-and-blood person, I find it can be helpful to imagine the humanity of the nativity. To add a layer of realism we don’t often see. Now, I have never given birth, but unlike many childless, or childfree, people in the West, I have witnessed a birth. With the confidence gained from having endured childbirth twice already, when my mum went into labour with my brother, she refused to go to hospital. I think her exact words to my dad were, ‘The midwife can ******* come to me’.  

This happened early one June morning in 1992, and I, aged six, was awoken around 6am by my mum’s screams. Going to investigate what on earth was going on, I was surprised to find my nan open the door to my parents’ bedroom. She told me that the baby was coming, and that I should go and occupy myself by getting ready for school.  

Having had the birds and the bees talk at a relatively early age, I was quite keen to get a good look at what was going on. I couldn’t see much, as there were four or five adults crammed into the modest master bedroom of our terraced house. But I could see my mum in the birthing position, I could sense the intense nature of what was happening. And, even after my nan closed the bedroom door, I could hear the noises. Few on-screen depictions of birth have come close to really capturing what happened in our house that morning, even on my beloved Grey’s Anatomy.  

I went downstairs to make myself a bowl of cereal. I have no idea what my then three year-old sister was up to at this point, but it’s quite possible she slept through the whole thing. After watching some classic 90s kids’ TV (Playdays, anyone?) I went and changed into my little grey skirt, white polo shirt and navy sweatshirt to get ready for school. I then went to brush my teeth, only to be confronted by a disembodied umbilical cord in our bathroom sink. I must have made a commotion at this stage, because I remember the midwife coming to explain what this peculiar mass of blood and veins and tissue was, and suggest that I brush my teeth over the bath on this occasion.  

My mum couldn’t avoid hospital completely, and she and the baby went off in an ambulance; she for stitches and he for routine checks. As they were bundled off, my nan and dad came downstairs carrying the double mattress which had just welcomed my little brother into the world. It was practically soaked through and they balanced it on top of the rotary airer in our garden to dry in the spring sunshine. Of course, I delighted in the opportunity to regale my whole class with all the graphic details of this experience when I eventually arrived at school. 

It seems to me that if Jesus himself is not spared a painful, bloody death, it’s unlikely to me that Mary would be spared a painful, bloody birth. Let’s not forget that the gospels were written by men, who were likely removed from the messy women’s business of birth, and perhaps wouldn’t have seen how powerful including this might have been. 

Perhaps people find it respectful to narrate the birth of Christ in a clean and painless way. If Mary is the virgin mother of Christ, or even immaculately conceived herself, then surely she would’ve been spared the birth pains which Eve inflicted on her sisters? But the incarnation – the humanity of Jesus – being so pivotal to my faith, I actually find great comfort in envisaging Jesus’ birth as messy and complicated, as the rest of us. Perhaps Mary had terrible morning sickness throughout her pregnancy like my sister, perhaps Jesus was born earlier than expected like my cousin, perhaps he had the cord round his neck like me.  

We can take what is good and true and life-giving from wherever we find it during the Christmas period. 

It would be easy to end this article by saying that once you become a Christian and you know what Christmas is really all about, you should become worried about it being secularised and not taken seriously. You should drastically change your own behaviours and practices around Christmas. But this would miss the fact that God was already with us all along, even if we didn’t realise it.  

For those of us with a foot in both camps of the sacred and secular Christmas, the journey doesn’t end when we find faith. There are certainly things we’ll want to re-evaluate - the rampant commercialism of Christmas for one thing - but we don’t need to throw the baby out with the bath water. Having unpicked what we thought we knew about the Christian Christmas, we can rebuild, reconnect and redefine what Christmas means to us now. We can create our own traditions and work out how to interweave them with those of our friends and family who may not share our faith.  

I’ve never actually been to church on Christmas morning, because there are traditions in my family that I do not want to miss. The croissants and jam we eat for breakfast in our PJs every Christmas morning are a sign of God’s abundance. I will find a lull in the day, when others are snoozing or watching TV, to pray a prayer of gratitude for them. I will have spent the month leading up-to Christmas attending services and events to help me reflect on and anticipate the coming celebration of Christ’s birth. I’ll also have eaten a chocolate every day to help me count down to the day itself. And after we’ve had our Christmas dinner on Christmas Eve (very Scandinavian, I know), I will go to Midnight Mass. That is the moment when it works for me to really immerse myself in the faith aspects of Christmas. 

We can take what is good and true and life-giving from wherever we find it during the Christmas period. We can celebrate loved ones reuniting, and that the days will soon become longer, not in spite of what we now know about God and Jesus, but because of it – because of the richness and new dimensions it adds to our lives. When we know that everything is a gift from God, it makes the presents our friends and family have chosen for us all the more significant, not less. 

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Wildness
18 min read

The Eagle - a new short story

A fable.

Theodore is author of the historical fiction series The Wanderer Chronicles.

An eagle wheels against a purple stormy sky cut by lightening.
Jason Hudson on Unsplash

I dreamed of an eagle soaring high over a verdant valley. The sun blazed and splintered into a thousand sword-points of light, spilling with joy and gladness over the slopes and streams, over the hanging woodlands, and the orchards growing there and carpeting the floor.  

There was gladness in the heart of the eagle too. The valley was good. The valley was secure. With his piercing eye, he kept watch over his brethren. The animals of the valley fed and met and played and slept. The smaller birds swooped and spun in the barmy air far below him. All was well.  

And then to the east, to the east his eye was drawn. A cloud rising in the east. A change was come. Black billows, dark with portent, rising skeins of thick grey smoke. The land that way rose to an upland pass. The little valley came tumbling down from its heights. To the north, a jagged range of peaks, black and sharp as wolf teeth. To the south the same, shutting the valley in. Protecting its flanks. But by the eastern horizon, a way did lay open. And now the eagle saw burning flames. A fire raging, devouring flame racing over tree and scrub, tearing at the grass, a snarl of heat and swirling smoke. A consuming fire. An angry fire. A fire fuelled on resentment, blown by the winds of hate. A fire hungry for the valley and everything in it.  

The gladness in the eagle’s heart vanished in a moment - as if it, too, had been burned to ash in the raging blaze. The eagle watched the flames claw their way down the upland spurs of the valley. Disquiet now ruled in the place of gladness. His piercing glance dropped to the animals frolicking in the valley below, but they saw no danger. They knew no danger. They knew nothing but that he would tell them was to come. 

At last his cry broke from his throat. He looped back on the burgeoning wind, circling round the better to send his shrill warning spiraling down to the verdant floor and its folk. But to his dismay, not one looked up. Not one took heed.  

And now to the west his gaze rose. And his disquiet turned to horror. 

For there the mirror to the eastern pass did lie. Smooth, lower, a lesser rampart of earth and rock. The easier to scale. And seeping, creeping over its worn shoulders came a foul and noxious fog. Purple of hue, odious even to the eye. Yet the eagle needed no telling that it would be fatal to the lungs. A cloying, lying, coiling fog, slick to the touch, choking and blinding in its confusion. And something in the look of it told the eagle it was yet more than this. A maddening fog, a self-devouring, self-immolating poison, which once inhaled could nevermore be expelled. 

Once more, his cry rang out around the four walls of the valley. Once more, the animals below did not look up from their play, from their busy, busy play…. 

Seeing their oblivion, he fell on them with such force and directness that he risked his own neck. For only with skill and strength could a bird of his dimensions flare out from such a death-dive. His throat burned in his effort to scream his warning. But only at the last did any of the valley-folk look up. 

Those that saw ducked their heads and took fright to see this terrible sight. The little ones especially, the soft-hearted ones, the natural prey of great predators like himself. Wails of fear broke from the lesser throats. They cringed and hid and some even were angry. The mothers rushed to their young. The fathers bristled and ready themselves for a fight. Shocked and afeared by this sudden threat to the peace of the valley, and the disturbance to the busy plans they had for their day.  

When the eagle pulled up and neatly landed on the peak of a small outcrop that broke from the valley floor, his voice was hoarse from his warning cries. The animals were bolder now, seeing the flash of danger past. And as the tide of fear receded in their hearts, seeing the threat was not as they feared, it left behind sharp stones of anger and indignation.  

“What do you mean by this horrible screaming?” the first of them did demand. “You puffed up popinjay! You scare the life out of us with your terrible aspect and the dizzying violence of your approach.” 

“It is only of necessity,” he began, breathlessly, “on account of what I saw—“ 

But he was not allowed to finish. In one united and sudden clamour, all the animals, emboldened by the first, unleashed their fear (together with their indignation) on him, so that none could truly have heard what any of the others had to say, or even what came forth from their own mouth. 

“Renegade!” 

“Bully!” 

“Impostor! Attacker!” 

And there was worse. “Murderer! Villain! Terrorist!” 

“There is blood on your hands!” 

“But I tell you - from my great height, among the peaks and the thinning air, I saw something none of you can see,” he pleaded anew. 

Now the clamour turned to jeers. “Oh, you saw, did you? You who see so much indeed!” cried the first of the animals. He was a fox who always liked to have the highest place in any council. And yet had not, even now, gained the trust of the eagle’s heart. “You always did think yourself superior to us earth-bound folk.” 

“That thin air has gone to his head, if you ask me,” said the king buck of the forest. “What he mistakes for clarity is nothing better than a spell of dizziness. Besides, no one asked him to look out for us, did they? We have wisdom enough for ourselves. We know our world. And look to ourselves as needs will be.” Here the noble-looking stag gave the twelve points of his antler-crown a flourish.  

“Get away, you hook-beak menace!” cried a creature from the crowd.  

“Stop stirring up trouble, you screeching flapper,” scowled a second. 

“Back up to your lofty skies, you preening prig,” sneered yet a third. And soon all the animals were hurling the worst of their insults at the eagle, seeing he was in no hunting mood after all, and glad for a chance to vent the spite they felt for many little things that had nothing to do with him. 

Frustrated at their stubbornness, the eagle glanced to the skies again. So often he had used his sharp eyes and sharper talons to win his way, but seldom his voice. He was not used to seeking sharp words withal to defend himself from such a barrage of slur and rejection. He looked to the skies again, always the place of solace for him. And there he saw but faint traces of the fire raging high and to the east. But then something else caught his attention. Some great shadow casting a gloom upon the air. In a moment, the caterwauling crowd was forgotten, and now in urgency, he beat his wings once more, his spiralling flight carrying him back up to airy reaches far above the valley, just as the valley-folk had scolded him to do. 

Only he went not at their urging, but in heed of a still more pressing call in his own heart. A dread of what could cast such a shadow, even through all the bright flames of the wild furnace that he had spied. He turned his head to the east, his eyes reaching and reaching deep into the billowing smoke and fire. And then he saw it. And his blood ran cold as the ice-water tumbling out of the hills into the valley below. 

A monstrous figure strode among the fire and the smoke. Tall as ten oaks from toe to head and with a flaming sword raised aloft. The monster had the body of a giant, and yet its head was that of a bull, double-horned, and snorting great angry blasts of flame from its nostrils, its eyes green and flashing like emeralds that held the sun. Its huge limbs swung with grim purpose as it drew closer, striding down from the upper reaches of the valley. Hulking shoulders with bulging veins that glowed red and gold and copper, as if the hot blood of hate were like to burst clean out of its char-black skin and shower the land with its poison. 

For a moment, the eagle’s steady gaze faltered, feeling some unfamiliar tremor through his heart. Fear. For so it must be. Fear so deep he knew not where to turn. 

But then his wits caught up with him at length. And at the sound of a long and sibilant sigh on the breeze from the west, he banked that way now. And to his horror, he saw thence too came striding a figure wreathed in the purple fog. Not so large as the bull-headed giant, and yet unlike that titan of shadow and flame, this one possessed some strange inexorable draw, so that the eagle found once his eye had settled on its shimmering shape, he could no more have torn it away than he could have stopped the earth from its turning. 

While the eagle would have flown far from the fiery giant, the shifting silver and purple shimmer on this other was in certain ways more terrifying. Its head was crowned with dark jewels over long and flowing silver-white hair. Its eyes were simpering and womanly in their glance, yet something hard and cold lurked in their centre, too, even as a mirthless smile played over a curved and shapely mouth. As if the giantess held some joke over all the world, some secret which amused her only. Beauty corrupted, pleasures perverted, good things turned to wicked. These things and many more the eagle read in her wanton gaze. And as she walked the purple fog swirled around her silver-slick limbs, clothing in a way her modesty, yet inviting all the same. And the eagle felt the twin goads of revulsion and yet its mirror. And only by chance noticed that even from so far, the scent on the fog, both sweet and yet putrescent, was putting lead in his eyelids. For a moment, he felt his head loll in weary sleep, a thick narcotic lethargy leaching all life from his steel-strong sinews and suddenly he found his flight was stalling, stalling… and only by the roar of the rushing air did he realise he was falling to the crushing earth.  

With force of will he had never before had need to call upon, he wrenched his wingspan to its fullest stretch, and braced his mighty shoulders to catch the air and snatch him from his doom. At least for now. Shocked at his own weakness but recovered, he now flew like lightning-bolt, arrow-straight, to the valley meeting point, whence bare moments before he had been expelled. 

“Alarm! Alarm!” he cried again. And this time, he would brook no silencing. “Alarm! Alarm!” he shrieked, with the last gasp of his breath. 

“You again,” went up the cry. And much that was far worse. “Did we not rid ourselves of you once and for all time?” barked the fox. 

“You solitary creature, go back up to your aerie,” declared the noble stag. “It is with good reason the Great Maker gave you a hermit’s home far from the valley floor. For in his wisdom, he knew none of us earth-bound folk could abide your company. No, nor should we have to.” 

“That may be true,” confessed the eagle. “But heed me all the same, just for this moment and but a few more. I see you from my height above and though you care not for me, I have long learned to care for you. And just as you say, I abide in the Maker’s will. He has given me eyes to see and a lonely nature, whereof I soar on the wind He breathes, and far-seeing I may behold things which escape the eyes of you lower folk.” 

“Lower!” jeered the wolf. “Hark at him! There all the truth is known. He thinks himself a higher breed to us forest-dwellers.” 

“Nay, far from it,” pled the eagle, seeing he had misspoke. “I come not to bandy words but only to warn that you may flee the coming purge.” 

“What purge, you feather-brained scoundrel?” 

“Death descends on all of you who dwell in the valley-floor,” he cried, his voice shrill. “A poison out of the west; dread fire from the east. They burn, they choke, they lay to waste all that lies in their path. And they mean to meet here in this green valley to some foul purpose, I am sure.” 

“Peace now, my brother of the wing,’ said a new voice, and though ready to shout down the eagle for their own part, all the gathering of animals turned to see one who perhaps had been there all this time. Yet only now had spoken up. It was the owl, sitting calm and moon-eyed, surveying the scene as if such fractious business barely concerned him. “Peace, I say.” It was as if there was a gentle, coaxing smile in his voice. “I, too, have flown higher than these other valley-dwellers. I, too, have felt the winds upon my beak. In all that I have seen; in all that I, in my wisdom,” - here he looked around as though to say, ‘does any here doubt it?’ - “have ever known, there is no true danger come to fall upon us. None but which we stir up among ourselves. Through misunderstanding, through a lack of love. Come, my brother of the wing. Admit thy mistake. It is no fault of thine. Imagination is a tricksome friend, I know. And indeed, who can truly say what they have seen at such heights? The fault would merely be not to admit to thy mistake. I tell you in all my journeying, I have seen nothing of these threats. Take counsel from wiser, older, gentler souls.’ 

“Nay,” insisted the eagle. “The difference is this. You fly by the light of the silvered moon. I fly by the sun. You see but by the reflected light falling upon a dead and mute circle of rock. I see by the light of the burning sun itself. Tis not the whole, you see, but mere shadows and play of darkness. I ride the wind, and see what the wind would show me.” 

At this, the smile in the owl’s voice leached away. “The hot wind of the fire you feel is the wind of the great eternal spirit calling you to love all of creation with a fiery love. Calling you to a warmer love of your fellow creatures. And as for the fog, you have it wrong there too, sir. ’Tis the sweet scent of compassion you smell, calling you to a compassion for all those things you do not yet understand―” 

“I understand them well enough. Well enough to perceive the danger―” 

“Silence!” the owl abruptly shrieked. “I had not finished speaking.” And here, the glare in his moon-eyes became sharp as flint. “Your hard days on the wing have hardened your heart. The thin air up there has made your heart cold with lofty conceit, and distanced from the rest of the Maker’s world. Truly you see only your own great capacity to soar, and think it makes you far-seeing, while the rest of us are blind. No, it is not by light that you see, but by ignorance. Your mind is closed because you do not open it to other ideas and influences, as I do. It is I who truly loves these valley-folk. I who converse with them, and learn from them. I who never judges them.” 

“But the fire!” cried the eagle. “But the fog!” 

“Silence!” returned the owl, and this time his voice carried real authority. “You say you see only by the sun, do we all not live under that same sun? Nay. Be humble now. Be silent for a time. Learn from those older and wiser valley-folk. Be silent, I say. We have indulged thy fanciful whims too long.” Here, the owl’s domed head swiveled in the direction of the stag. “Your grace, it is time for a little discipline. We winged creatures play our part, but the Maker has ordained thee king over us. This is known. The Maker means for all of us to submit to the sting of discipline now and then. Such may do us good.” He turned back to the eagle, and there was a sarcastic edge now in his voice. “Or do you consider yourself too good even for that? For such as the rest of us must endure?” 

“No, no, a thousand No’s!” replied the eagle impatiently. “I take my discipline when discipline is what I need. But see, even now, the towers of smoke rising in the far heights. Look, can you not see?” He gestured eastward with his great wingspan, but most of the gathered animals merely laughed at his madness. Any who did happen to glance that way had not his vision and saw nothing but the azure sky. “If it is falsehood I see, then I would gladly see myself corrected. But, by all the stars, I am not lying. And more, I see it true!” 

“He is a lost cause,” said the sly fox, for he had never much cared for the eagle. “Come, we waste time. Let’s get to the disciplining, and right quickly. I have an idea this one may lose patience, and then see - the sharp hook of his beak. The razor points of his claws. What mischief might he play with those when he chooses? See these little soft ones hereabout.” He gestured to the woodland creatures, the rabbits, the shrews, the squirrels. “He is a danger, this one. To every decent forest-dweller. Aye, and even to himself, I dare say. Look at them! Poor lambs - quite terrified out of their wits, they are. Terrorized half to death!” 

And it was true - there were some of them did seem alarmed.  

“Quite right,” agreed the stag. “Well, there be nothing for it but to teach the eagle his lesson.” And before the eagle had thought enough for his own safety and not the others, there was a guttural growl beside him, and suddenly the weight of the wolf’s claws upon his back, the hot billow of lupine breath as iron jaws closed around his neck. 

“To the punishment stone!” the fox cried heartily. “We’ll make of this one a milder creature before the sun is set!” And at once all the crowd of them took up his cry.  

The eagle found himself borne upon the tide of anger, mauled and spat at and scratched. But the wolf was strong, and dragged him with relentless might to the place of his ordeal. 

And yet, all the while, his fear was not for himself. No, it was still for his fellow creatures. For now, he could even smell the rank sweetness of the giantess’s noxious poison. For now, he could even hear the crack and spit of the rushing fire tearing through the forest. But the other animals were too distracted. Too fixed upon his own fate, and what they would see done to him. 

And a terrible lament rose within his heart: that he had failed. That seeing, he had yet wrought no good. His moment had come, perhaps the one moment for which the Maker had given him life, had given him wings to soar and eyes to see - but all he had won was his own demise. And then he thought, “So let it be. It is no more than I deserve, after all.” 

It is terrible to relate what those gentle, placid valley-folk did to the eagle in those following moments. Once they had bound him and raised him up for all to see, the fox and the wolf went to work. They pulled from his golden feet those proud talons, each and every one brandished and mocked and tossed down among the baying crowd. They bit him and tore out mouthfuls of feathers to spit back in his face. They broke and snapped right off the sharp hook of his beak, yelling with glee that he could hurt no other creature now.  

They worked on him for a long while, so that the sun had fallen low behind the western pass, and the sky was purpling like a spreading bruise across the heavens.  

“Better cut out his lying tongue,” said one. This was the owl, whose moon-eyes seemed greener somehow in the fading light. “The better to avoid discord among the good peace-loving folk of the forest floor.” At this, went up a rousing cheer. The idea seemed pleasing to them all. And so his tongue came out, and was thrown down as had his other parts. 

The eagle endured his punishment without a sound. Although inside his heart was weeping. But now he could never tell that he wept not for himself, but for all of them.  

“One more thing,” declared the noble stag, looking regal and solemn, his crowned head held high and strong. “His eyes must go, for it was they that caused all this trouble. After that, clemency. For we are not cruel of heart. We merely wish to preserve the peace and order of the valley.” 

“Allow me,” sniggered the fox to his partner in the punishment, and the wolf stepped graciously aside. 

The eagle looked not at his tormentors in that moment. Instead, his far-gaze searched one last time the blackening skies. Searched for an answer to the fire and the fog. Searched the heavens for some single shard of hope. For he knew now, no aid would come to his kindred creatures from among themselves. 

The fox flexed a claw. Flashed it before the eagle’s gaze. But he did not care to look at that. And the next moment was one of searing pain. One eye now was gone. But he minded it not. He could not cry out in any case, for his tongue lay severed in the mud. No, he still looked keenly upward with the last eye left to him. 

And then - as the fox made much of this final climax to his work, japing and frolicking before the crowd - he saw something. He saw a wonder. For though the sun had long set, some other light now appeared in the gloaming. No rising sun was this, for the light came not from the east, not even piercing through the smoke that now stained the night far above the heads of the foolish creatures below. No, the light rose in the north. Why? How? the eagle pondered, while the fox still milked his crowd. 

A second sun rising in the north, light building and building, though by now it should almost be night. Splinters, shards of colour, white and gold of searing brightness, like an army pouring over the high ridge of mountain peaks, the bulwark to the verdant valley. And with the light he saw, in the last seconds of his sight, a light that was all hope and power and blessing and glory and goodness and beauty.  

And though he knew that these next moments would be the last he would ever see, I saw in my dream that he was at peace. Because, though he had failed, his heart was certain that the light would not.  

A new light was rising in the north. A new sun had come. 

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This is made possible through the generosity of our amazing community of supporters.

If you enjoy Seen & Unseen, would you consider making a gift towards our work?

Do so by joining Behind The Seen. Alongside other benefits, you’ll receive an extra fortnightly email from me sharing my reading and reflections on the ideas that are shaping our times.

Graham Tomlin
Editor-in-Chief